No matter what your viewpoint, waiting for someone to die is always a strange experience.

Maybe your loved one is lying in an IC Unit, hooked up to monitors and tubes. Even if the doctors tell you that the "chances for recovery are good", you're still left with the knowledge that a lot of people die in IC Units.

It's always the same, but it's always different.

So what do you do?

Many folks choose DENIAL because it's easiest and they just can't deal with the potential reality. These folks will usually have the hardest time dealing with the death if/when it comes. Also, they may refer to their state of mind as "optimistic".

Being OPTIMISTIC, however, does not necessarily mean being blind or in DENIAL. You can look at all the facts and weigh the chances in your own way.

When you begin to examine all the possibilities you begin to realize that you might do well to make some preparations for the WORST CASE, if events should turn in that direction.

Do you know what to do if this person dies?

Some of the questions to which you'll want to have answers:

• Who is going to be responsible for making all the arrangements?

• Is that person aware of the situation and what will be required of them?

• If that person is YOU, click here.

Even if your loved one recovers, these explorations are not in vain. The better prepared you are, the less uncomfortable you will be when that time eventually comes.

So, there you are, sitting by the bedside in the IC Unit.

Your loved one may be conscious or not, the wires and tubes are connected to every part, the monitors are beeping and flashing vital signs and there you sit.

What do you do?

Obviously, if the patient is unconscious, conversation is out. So, there you sit. You've already begun your mental exercises to prepare for the worst, but you keep getting distracted by those monitors. What are they trying to tell you?

Let's take a look at some of the equipment you're likely to see there.

......... links to ICU equipment .........

If the patient is conscious, conversation may tend to get heavy. Often people, upon realization of their imminent departure, will pull things up from out of the depths of their souls...Things they've been holding inside for years will suddenly find a need to come out, often very emotionally.

If part of your reason for being on this Death Watch is to make your loved one feel more comfortable and loved, you will not discourage such topics and emotions. You will, however, find yourself getting really involved.

Just keep in mind that, when it comes to spiritual matters, nobody knows the right answers. There are none that can be comprehended by the human brain. You may not agree with your loved one's beliefs, but you should probably not try to argue with them unless they are in a receptive state of mind.

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